Changes

Last Sunday morning I sat in the Phoenix Rising office alone. Karen and Elissa and their team of movers had just departed for Vermont to set up the new office and home of Phoenix Rising. This was a moment that I had both wanted but also had feared. Now it was here and I was in it.

The decision for Karen and Elissa to take over the day to day business and move to a new place in Vermont is a great one, not just for Phoenix Rising but for all of us involved, particularly those of us in thick of it all. For Elissa and Karen it offers them the chance to step fully into their own light and become leaders. For me it's a chance to step back, breathe, and support from the more comfortable "hands off" position. That feels good and here I am already exercising the privalege by sitting here writing on this blog.

What I felt sitting there alone last Sunday was mostly nothing to fear at all. Yes, there was something missing now. I could no longer drive up to the Center, walk into the office and be immediately surrounded by people and plans and participants and programs. That always felt good especially when a program was in session. And I would miss it. But was it something to be feared. I think not. We tend to think of connections as tangible - a place, faces, activities. But connections really are much deeper than that. And surprisngly as I sat there alone I felt no less connected to Phoenix Rising than at any time in the last twenty years. Loss of connection was certainly something I need not fear. So then what? Something to engage me and my time, perhaps. No, I think not. I am blessed with a life full of wonderful people and things to do with them. I also love time to myself to write, to meditate, to fly my airplane or to just sit and look at whatever comes into my gaze. I no longer need distractions or busy work to help me feel whole. So again nothing to fear there either.

As I gave the fears room to materialize, I found myself dismissing them easily. As they left in their place came came a magnificent sense of freedom, trust, and excitement. Freedom to live and contribute to life in ways not possible before - Trust that I have chosen well in the two wonderful people now at the helm - Excitement about where all of that might lead.

I picked up my keys, turned out the lights, locked the door with a smile on my face, and left the now bare office knowing all would be well.